


i need you more than anyone darlin (you know that i have from the start)

by Chaos_Theory101



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abuse, Cliffhangers, F/F, Kara Danvers Has a Crush on Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers Loves Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers is Not Okay, Kara Danvers isn't Supergirl, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:28:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23606827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_Theory101/pseuds/Chaos_Theory101
Summary: From a young age, Kara knew she loved Lena. And when those feelings are acted on, their relationship changes and friendship's are ended.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 9
Kudos: 99





	i need you more than anyone darlin (you know that i have from the start)

1999

Swinging her feet back and forth, Kara watched as kids played on the play ground. Laughing, smiling and running after one another in a game of tag or chase. Of course Kara didn't play with them, she wasn't invited to play with them. Sure, she could play without permission, but she wasn't going too. Those kids were mean. They were all fifth graders, and they weren't too nice to a first grader Kara.

Sighing the little girl swayed her feet back and forth again, watching as a blue butterfly flies by, fluttering it's wings and flying past Kara making the blonde smile softly. 

"Hi" someone says, making Kara turn her head and spot a girl with dark hair and green eyes smiling at her. Her two front teeth missing, hair braided and a simple black sundress. 

"Hi," Kara smiles shyly, cheeks turning red.

"Can I sit with you please?" The small girl asks, green eyes big and hopeful waiting for Kara to say yes.

"Yes" Kara nods, adjusting her glasses and blushing harder as her heart races and stomach starts to feel funny.

"My name is Lena what is yours?" Lena smiles, climbing onto the bench and sitting next to Kara.

"That's a pretty name" Kara grins.

Lena blushes softly, "well you're pretty."

"T-Thanks." Kara blushes harder, her stomach bursting with butterflies. But what did that mean? "My name is Kara," the blonde glances into Lena's green eyes.

"Nice to meet you Kara. Wanna be friends?" Lena questions, flashing her teeth making Kara giggle. 

"Yes please" Kara smiles even bigger. Feeling happy about her new found friendship. Alex and Eliza would be very proud of her. And maybe Lena could come over this weekend, they could watch movies and dance to music and maybe if Alex wasn't in a mood she'd join in. 

2001

"Wait! Kara wait for me! You're too fast!" Lena shouts, smiling and giggling as she chases after Kara around the front lawn. Kara keeps running in circles, smiling and giggling just like Lena as the two best friends play tag. From afar, Eliza watches sipping her morning coffee while Alex sits in the living room wrapping a birthday present for Kara.

Suddenly, Kara turns, Lena running straight into Kara. The two girls go flying down, Lena on top of the blonde making their hearts race as their eyes meet. Cheeks heating up, smiles growing wider as they burst into laughter.

"I caught you!" Lena shouts, getting up and throwing her arms up in victory. 

"You caught me," Kara smiles, standing and brushing her jeans off. She spots a grass stain on Lena's dress, eyes widening in panic. "Lena we need to get your dress cleaned, I don't want your mom to get mad." 

Looking down, Lena glances at her dress and sighs. She didn't want to get yelled at or worse locked in her room without dinner like she had been last night. She looks back up at Kara, smiling softly and shrugging. 

"You can borrow some of my clothes" Kara offers, frowning.

"Really?" Lena smiles, cheeks heating up slightly at the thought of wearing one of Kara's superman shirts. 

"And I'm sure Eliza could wash your dress if you ask her," Kara informs, glancing at her adoptive mom standing on the porch with a cup of coffee. 

"I'm sorry to ruin your birthday with this" Lena pouts, giving Kara her puppy dog eyes. 

Shaking her head Kara only brings her best friend in for a hug, holding her close as she can, whispering no you didn't before pulling away.

"Come on, let's get that dress cleaned." Kara takes Lena's hand, leading her up the porch and to Eliza.

2005

"So what do you wanna watch?" Kara asks, eyebrows raised as she searches through the abundance of Disney movies. "We could watch Lilo and Stitch or...I don't know, any ideas?" Kara looks over at Lena who is shrugging her shoulders, giving Kara an I don't know look. "Well what do you wanna do then?" 

"I don't know." Lena shrugs again, frowning and sighing. "We've seen all those movies Kara, let's do something else."

"Like what?" The blonde questions, standing and walking over to the couch and sitting next to her best friend.

"Well when is Eliza getting home?" Lena questions, glancing at the clock above the TV. 

"Around seven tonight why?"

"And wheres Alex?" 

"At Josie's, but why?" Kara asks again, eyebrows furrowed at how weird Lena was acting. "Why are you asking all these questions?"

"Because I want to try something." Lena smiles nervously, playing with her hands.

"Like what?" Kara asks, wondering what Lena would wanna try. 

Lena blushes softly, making Kara's stomach flip and heart race. The blonde had been noticing this a lot more, and she started to notice how beautiful Lena was, how cute her smile was and how intoxicating her laugh was. Everything about her grounded Kara, everything about Lena Luthor flipped the blondes life into pure happiness. Could she possibly have a crush on Lena?

"W-Well we trust each other a lot right?" Lena asks, watching as her best friend nods. "Well we haven't had our first kiss yet and we both know that your first kiss is supposed to be special. So why don't we kiss each other? I mean we mean the world to one another so it'll be special."

Blushing hard, Kara's ocean eyes widen at the thought of kissing Lena, her best friend. Her heart says do it, kiss her, kiss her but her brain says don't, don't kiss her.

"I-I mean y-yeah we can if you want too.." Kara blushes, looking down and adjusting her glasses nervously. 

"I want too." Lena nods, smiling gently. "Do you want to go to your room?" 

"S-Sure" Kara stammers, as Lena grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers and pulling the blonde up the stairs and into the Danvers sisters room. 

The two girls sit on Kara's bed, staring softly at each other with pink tenting their cheeks, both of them letting out a nervous laugh before staring into one another eyes. The blonde couldn't help but believe Lena's eyes were the most beautiful thing in the world, like a precious emerald gem. A forest in the middle of June or the sea on a rainy day. Sure they were only twelve, but Kara felt something for Lena beyond friendship and love, she felt like they were destined for more than friendship. 

However, she wasn't sure if Lena felt the same way. But she knew she always felt this way. She had felt this way from the start. 

“Let’s play some music” Lena suggests walking over to the stereo and turning it on. The room fills with a soft song from the 60’s, as the Luthor sits on the bed. 

“Are you sure about this Lena? L-Like are you sure you don’t want it to be with Ja-“ Lena cuts off her blonde best friend, making a sshh sound as the song plays in the background. 

“I want my first kiss to be with you. And only you.” Lena explains softly, shyly cupping Kara’s pink cheeks. “Okay?” 

“Okay…” Kara murmurs, staring into forest green. 

Why do you build me up (build me up) buttercup, baby 

Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around?

Lena nodded softly, cheeks a faint pink and she leans in. Lips pressing ever so softly against Kara’s, her hands trembling as she cups her best friends cheeks. 

And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby 

When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still

The blonde slowly wraps her arms around Lena’s slim waist, pulling her closer as she presses her lips a little firmly against Lena’s. Praying silently for the kiss to last long, praying for the kiss to mean something to Lena like it did to Kara. 

I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin' 

You know that I have from the start 

So build me up (build me up) buttercup, don't break my heart 

2007

"Hey, do you wanna come over tonight? We can order pizza and watch a comedy or something?" Kara suggests, walking with Lena through the halls of Midvale high. The Luthor's heels could be heard from a mile away, and the red dress she wore sure wasn't helping the way all the boys were looking at her. Kara wasn't willing to admit she was jealous. 

"Yeah sure" Lena smiles, "want me to pick up the movie or?" 

"N-No I'll do it. Just be there around seven and then we can start the night," Kara smiles nervously, adjusting her glasses and looking into forest eyes. 

"Alright," Lena flashes a smile, "will Alex be there?"

"Nope, hanging out with Maggie again. I've never seen her this happy," Kara grins, walking up to her locker and opening it as Lena leans against another locker. 

"Well to be honest she's always been the depressed one out of you two." Lena jokes, watching as Kara laughs softly and nods. 

"Yeah true. Her punk rock face effected all of us." Kara laughs again, putting one of her books away and closing up her locker. "Want me to walk you to class?"

"Yes ma'am," Lena smiles, walking with her best friend down the hall and around the corner to her AP science class. "See you at lunch?"

"See you at lunch." Kara smiles, making her move to walk to her class when she feels Lena kiss her cheek gently. The blondes cheeks heat up, smiling back at Lena and walking off as her heart races faster than a race car.

Later that night, Kara had ordered pizza and got the movie ready, the couch covered in blankets and pillows ready for the two girls to get comfortable with. Lena had just pulled up in her car, getting out and dressed in sweats and a superman shirt Kara had leant her a few months ago when the Luthor spilled some drink all over her nightshirt.

Feeling happy Kara practically ran to the door to open it for Lena, smiling so wide it reached her ears as the Luthor walked in.

"The pizza is here and I've got the movie ready and all the blankets we'll need." Kara explains, grabbing ahold of Lena's hand and dragging her all the way into the living room. "So you ready to start tonight?"

"Yeah" Lena smiles, sitting on the couch and wrapping herself in blankets. 

Kara soon joins her, starting the movie and munching on pizza while glancing at Lena every chance she could get. Lena would catch this, their eyes would meet and cheeks would turn pink but no words were spoken and they would go back to the movie.  
Until, Lena eventually fell asleep, head laying upon Kara's shoulder.

The blonde smiled softly at her best friend, glancing at her lips and wondering if her lips were still as soft as they were that one night when they had their first kiss together. Before getting ahead of herself, Kara turned off the tv, and picked up Lena with ease. Walking up the stairs and carrying the Luthor in her arms without waking the girl up, until she layed her on Kara's bed.

"Hey sleepyhead" Kara smiled softly. 

"Hi" Lena murmurs, stretching and yawning. "What time is it?" 

"A little after eleven. Eliza got stuck at the hospital tonight, but she'll be home in the morning. Not sure about Alex though, she's probably banging Maggie." Kara chuckles, watching Lena smile and stare at her with sleepy eyes. 

"Sorry I fell asleep." Lena says, watching Kara turn on the stereo and walking over to her bed. 

"It's alright. The movie was boring anyway," Kara laughs, turning on the small lamp beside her bed. She lays down, getting comfortable next to Lena, with a sleepy smile. 

"Then I guess I'm glad I fell asleep?" Lena giggles, showing off her perfect teeth and how her nose scrunched up. The blonde couldn't help but think it was cute. 

"Yeah," Kara smiles, yawning softly and relaxing into her bed. 

The two lay there in silence for a few minutes, listening to the radio as they try to fall asleep. But the two lay there, staring up at the ceiling and both look at each other at the same time.

"Lena..." Kara softly whispers, staring at Lena like she's the last thing on earth, like a precious gem. "I...I...L-"

Suddenly, Lena's lips are on Kara's. Kara's hands are holding the Luthor close, the kiss is all tongue and teeth and Kara isn't sure why this is happening but it is. She doesn't know if she wants it to stop or to keep going and her heart is racing faster than it ever had. She feels Lena tug at her shirt, and Kara pulls away quickly. 

"L-Lena I-I d-don't k-"

"Sssh" Lena says, kissing Kara hard. Kara pulls away again, eyes searching Lena's, just for a sign that nothing will change if this happens. 

"Nothing will change right?" Kara questions, out of breath and face flush. 

"I promise." Lena murmurs, pressing her lips against Kara's softly, slowly pulling at her shirt and throwing it somewhere in the room. 

Soon, they're clothes are thrown around the room. Kara kissing and exploring Lena's body, making sure to memorize every beauty mark and scar, every place that made Lena whimper in pleasure. The blonde kissed down Lena's chest, trapping a nipple in between teeth and nibbling before pulling away and kissing down further. Growing more confident the more Lena made noises, and pleads.

Kara kisses down in between the Luthor's legs, kissing and licking every inch of the girl until Lena is crying out and fisting at the sheets roughly. 

The two girls kept each other company throughout the night, kissing softly then harshly, exploring each other's bodies. All while the radio drowned out the noise, as Lena fell asleep in Kara's arms. 

I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'

You know that I have from the start

2008

After that night Lena avoided Kara like the plague. Alex noticed first, Eliza next and then her friends James and Winn noticed as well but no one spoke about it. Kara tried her best to stay up beat and happy, but deep down she was breaking. She wanted Lena back, wanted their friendship back.

But every chance Kara got, Lena would make an excuse. She'd say she has to meet Andrea after school or Lillian needed her for something. Kara would sadly nod and fight back tears as Lena walked away. 

"Okay that's it. What is going on with you and Lena?" Alex questions, arms crossed as she sits on her bed across from Kara. 

"Nothing" Kara mutters, fluffing up her pillow and sighing. 

"It's obviously something." Alex exclaims, "I haven't seen her come over here in months, she hasn't sat with us at lunch in months either. What the hell happened?"

"Nothing happened Alex." Kara huffs, running a hand through her hair and furrowing her eyebrows.

"Really? Cause it sure seems like it. You two have been friends since forever and now she's not coming around. Something happened." Alex states, shaking her head and waiting for her sister to explain.

"I...um" Kara sighs again, tears falling down her face as she looks down and back up to Alex. 

Sensing her sister needed a hug, Alex stands and sits next to Kara. Wrapping her in her arms and pulling her close. Kara sobbed into her sisters neck, holding on tightly and trying to choke back the sobs.

"It's okay, it's okay" Alex sushes, keeping Kara close. 

"A-Alex I...I love her," Kara whimpers, pulling away from her sisters embrace and watching as Alex nods with a slight smile.

"I know Kara." Alex just pulls her sister in for another hug, "I always have. You look at her like she hung the damn stars," Alex kisses the top of Kara's head. 

"A few months ago we slept together." Kara breaths out, as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "She promised it wouldn't change anything, but it did." 

"That bitch!" Alex shouts, "I'm gonna go have a talk with her."

"Alex no." Kara keeps her sister in place, shaking her head and closing her eyes as tears flow down her cheeks. "I've tried. I've given her time, I've written her letters, I've tried to talk to her in person. There's no use." 

"There's gotta be something, Kara" Alex says. "Lena wouldn't just throw away your friendship like that would she?"

"I don't know." Kara shrugs, wiping her tears. "Can we just go watch a movie or something?"

"Sure" Alex smiles.

2009

Alex was out with Maggie, Eliza at work while Kara sat on the couch reading a book for English. The TV drowning out the rain outside, and the smell of a pizza in the oven filling the home. Kara was wrapped in a blanket, flipping through the pages as the night progresses and the rain falls harder with lightning and thunder. 

Until the timer went off for the pizza and a knock at the door had Kara on her feet. She quickly ran to the oven, grabbing her oven mits out and getting the pizza on top of the stove for cooling. She quickly runs to the door, wondering who could possibly be here at this time at night. 

She opens the door, ocean eyes widening at the sight of Lena drenched on her porch. 

"L-Lena?" Kara asks, confused and concerned at the sight of a dark bruise forming around Lena's eye. 

"Can I come in, please?" The Luthor asks, eyes pleading in silence. 

"Y-yeah, d-do you need food or some fresh clothes?" Kara asks, as if she hadn't talked to Lena in a year and this was a normal night where Lena would come over to Kara's after a fight with Lillian. 

"Some clothes would be nice" Lena smiles softly, stepping into the house and pulling off her shoes. 

"I'll go get you some." Kara closes the door and runs up the stairs, grabbing a shirt, a pair of sweatpants and a towel. The blonde runs down the stairs, handing Lena the clothes and frowning slightly. "I.." Kara stops talking, eyes lowering, she turns and walks to the kitchen. Hoping for Lena to get the hint and get changed into some dry clothes.

Kara fights back tears, cutting the pizza into equal slices and grabbing two plates. Maybe if Kara says the right words, maybe Lena will be her friend, maybe just maybe they can forget that night and go back to hanging out like they used too.

The blonde knows that this probably won't happen, she knows that. But she hopes it does, because even though she has feelings for the Luthor. She misses their friendship more than anything in this world.

Wiping a few tears, the blonde sniffles and leans against the counter. Rubbing her temples and muttering under her breath. She wants to take back that night. Sometimes she wishes she was never friends with Lena, it would save her all this heartbreak and pain. 

"Hey.." Lena walks into the kitchen. Her eyes dark with sorrow, eyebrows furrowed and the dark mark around her eye now a deep purple. Raven hair still damp, and hands shoved into the pockets of Kara's sweatpants.

"Here," Kara rubs her eye before handing Lena a plate with a few pieces of pizza. The blonde hopes Lena doesn't notice she's been crying. 

"Thanks" Lena softly whispers, sitting at the bar counter and biting her lip. 

The room is filled with awkward silence besides the heavy rainfall outside, Kara leaning against the counter eating pizza. Lena takes a bite before putting the slice down, and ignoring the awkward silence surrounding the once friends. 

"Kara I..." 

"Save it." Kara mumbles, "you stopped talking to me. Stopped everything like it didn't matter." The blonde puts down her plate, eyes darkening with sadness and anger, "I tried for so long to do anything that would fix our friendship. But you never tried. Stopped picking up my calls, wouldn't answer the door when I came to your place, avoided me at school. And the worst part is that no matter what I never once lost hope, never once stopped caring because I love you." 

Lena's forest green eyes widen, dropping the slice of pizza onto her plate and swallowing the lump in her throat. 

"I love you Lena Luthor and you used my love, used me and then left with no explanation. And now you're here. Why are you even here?" Kara growls, a tear rolling down her cheek. "You think you can just come here and act like everything is okay?"

"Kara I-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Kara yells, fist slamming against the counter, eyes narrowing into a glare and brows furrowed. "Get out." The blonde points to the door, "get out because I never want to see your fucking face again." 

"K-Kara please" Lena begs, standing as tears fall down her pale cheeks. 

"No" Kara grits her teeth "get out now and never come back." 

The Luthor nods, shoulders slumping. She doesn't try to fight it, doesn't say anything as she glances at Kara for any sign of Kara wanting her to stay. But she sees nothing but anger and hurt in those ocean eyes, so she leaves out the door and into the pouring rain. 

The blonde watches from the window, arms crossed and lips turning into a frown. Tears sliding down her cheeks, as Lena disappears out of sight into the dark of the night. 

2016

"I need you to go to a met gala tonight Kira," Cat explains, pushing her glasses up and writing something down on paper. Clark and Kara stand next to one another, looking up and catching each other. 

"Why me?" Kara questions, fiddling with a string in her shirt. 

"I need you to check it out, talk to some people. Do your first reporting job," Cat states, looking up from the document. "And Clark is needed back with Perry White."

"I am Kara" Clark nods, glancing at his cousin. 

"Oh.." Kara sighs, knowing she'll have to go alone to this met gala and interview people. "Whose met gala is it?" The blonde asks, eyebrow raised as Clark sends her a see you later smile and leaves Cats office. 

"L-Corp" Cat looks down at the document again. 

"W-Wait um...isn't that uh..." Kara stammers, as her heart begins to beat against her chest.

"Lena Luthor's company? Yes. I need you to go there and interview her about the gala and why shes doing it." Cat looks up, noticing the way Kara is standing and starting to breath heavily. "Is there a problem with that?"

"I...Long story Miss Grant." Kara sighs, sitting across from her boss, adjusting her glasses and fighting tears like she had many years ago. 

"You know crying isn't aloud in my office" Cat warns, hoping the young reporter would keep it together.

"S-sorry." Kara wipes the tears, stands and takes a deep breath. "When is the party?" 

"Seven sharp, at L-Corp." Cat explains, watching Kara nod and begin to walk out of her office. "Did you love her?" 

Kara turns, blue eyes full of sadness as she nods slowly. 

Later that night Kara dressed herself in a navy blue dress, cut off at the shoulders, flowing tightly to her knees and showing off her curves. Hair in a bun, blue heels complementing her outfit. She had to seem confident, had to see happy when she saw Lena. Like tonight wasn't effecting her so bad to were she couldn't breath. 

When she walks up to the buildings door, a man dressed in all black opens the door with a tight lipped smile and tells her the directions to the party. Kara follows them, adjusting her dress and glasses and she gets closer to the party. Music blasting, people chatting and drinking fancy champagne. 

Kara wishes she had invited Alex along, that way she could have some kind of buffer. Her sister could find someone to hook up with, most likely to forget the break up with Maggie. But being there incase the interview with Lena effected Kara to the point where the blonde had a panic attack. 

Sighing, Kara enters the room, eyes adjusting to the bright lights and slow song playing as she walks passed the business men and women talking. There were flutes of champagne, a buffet table full of fancier foods and a huge donation sign saying it would help the children of National city.

Deciding she would need back up, Kara dials Alex's number. Hoping her sister would answer and come to the met gala as soon as possible. 

"Hello?"

"Hey, I need you to come to a party." Kara states, looking around the room and trying to calm the nerves that were starting to come.

"Uh..why? And where?"

"Well uh...I have to interview Lena." Kara takes a deep breath, Alex not responding before muttering curse words and saying she'd be on her way soon. "I don't know if I can do it...I just I don't know." Kara sighs, looking around the room again when she sees a striking ruby red dress and dark hair in a tight bun. 

"Kara? Hello? I'm on my way, just stay on the phone." 

"A-Alex I gotta go." Kara stutters, hearing Alex protest before hanging up and chewing her bottom lip. You can do this, you can do this she says to herself. 

The blonde walks across the dance floor, maneuvering through people dancing as a song plays through the speakers above everyone's head. Her heart pounds, ears ringing and throat dry as she stands behind the girl she loves. 

"L-Lena?" Kara asks, the woman turning around and the blonde meets forest green eyes. Her heart stops, palms growing clammy as Lena stands in front of her, shocked and filled with emotion. 

"Kara?" Lena gasps softly, all while a song plays, echoing in their ears as they stare into each other's eyes. 

I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'

You know that I have from the start

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry that it is hard to see where the music starts and where they end. Because I can't seem to find out how to do italics. Lol
> 
> Anyway that's it! Yes I know cliffhanger and I'm sorry but I had too.
> 
> I'm sure there are spelling mistakes, and many more seems as 80% of this was written at 3 AM while I listened to Build Me Up Buttercup on repeat on 2 hours of sleep. 
> 
> Maybe just maybe there will be another chapter, but for now this is it and I hope you guys enjoyed it just as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Have a wonderful day, stay safe and I love you you all.
> 
> Love, Juniper
> 
> Ps. Make sure to check out Mistress Kara and Nightshade


End file.
